Iranian Kook Rejects Nuke Rebuke, Despite Fluke

Submitted by: Tom Attea

The combative president of Iran continued to reject a resolution by Western nations that his nation stop its development of the atomic bomb for peaceful purposes, even though, through some fluke, inspectors from The International Atomic Energy Agency discovered new traces of highly enriched uranium at the bully mullah nation s leading nuclear bomb factory.

They also discovered traces of the potentially explosive material as the result of two previous flukes. But the current fluke was even more worrisome: the new nuke traces did not have the same nuclear fingerprints as the previous ones. In other words, they re from a different and curiously troubling source.

Of course, the agency is doing its usual self-examination, saying maybe some of the contaminants came from nuclear enrichment equipment it bought from sucker providers in search of, as Lenin said capitalists would provide, the noose to hang themselves with.

The only unequivocal voice continues to be the US, in particular, the embattled George Bush, who is right out front about applying sanctions for Iran s uncompromising pursuit of nukes. While saying he was for a diplomatic solution, he added, There must be consequences for Iran s defiance, and we must not allow Iran to develop a nuclear weapon.

But hold on just a bit longer, George. The Pentagon has recently estimated that Iran, due to the inherent underachievement of its scientific prowess, would need another five years to develop an operational nuke. Many consider this an overestimate.

Meanwhile, the calculatingly cautious Europeans are once again enjoying letting us, in taking the lead toward a safer and perhaps even saner world, continue to enhance our reputation as a reliable and worthy trading partner in the Middle East. Just to let us go out on the limb even more they announced they re giving Iran two more weeks to make up its already written-in-The-Stone-Age intentions.

Defiant even in the face of a visit by the ambassador of large talk and little effect, Kofi Annan, and his vow to address the nuclear issue, the kook has vowed to continue work on his nuke for the greater glory of Allah.

About the Author: Tom Attea, humorist and creator of

, has had six shows produced Off-Broadway. Critics have called his writing “delightfully funny,” “witty,” with “great humor and ebullience” and “good, genuine laughs.”


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